The Republican presidential debates never happened... what would it look like if they did?
LYRICS
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THE ROCK:
Ladies and gentlemen
live from the Reagan Library
your 2020 Republican presidential debates!
The challengers…
Standing at 5’9”
the illest congressman from Illinois
the talk show terrorizer
rapper on the right
who’s right of the right...
Joe Walsh!
Standing at 6’4’’
former governor of Massachusetts
a weapon of mass destruction
Reagan’s regulator
he’s rapper on the left
but he’s the center of attention...
Billy Weld!
Standing at 6’3”
243 pounds
the tiny-hand assassin
the orange overseer
your current king...
Donald Trump!
Let’s begin with opening statements
Each candidate will have ten seconds
Bill!
Here we go!
BILL WELD:
The name’s Weld
Card-carrying libertarian
I came from Mass
to start burying totalitarians
Under Reagan
I ran the criminal division
I can get rid of Trump up
just like I did Richard Nixon
JOE WALSH:
Tea Party representer
Joe Walsh is here tonight
Not to challenge from the center
I came to challenge from the right
I sent some tweets
and did some things
that could have been avoided
I helped create Trump
so I’m the one to help destroy him
THE ROCK:
Here’s Donny!
TRUMP:
The Rock
Huge fan
Now that’s a beautiful handshake
And for you two bozos
listen up
Blah blah blah
You all supported that MAGA sh**
You’ll only last a few months
like my Cabinet
You’re taking down your president
off of a few rumors?
You’re all fake news
and you’re all huge losers
THE ROCK:
Time! Classic Trump
Gentlemen, you each have
30 seconds to fire back
WELD:
All you do is eat, tweet,
and engage in treason
I’ll unite both sides
They call me Weld for a reason
Fiscally, you’re not Republican at all
Your economics
haven’t gotten off the ground
It’s like your wall
Yeah, I support gay marriage,
weed, and abortion
You support big spending,
large debt, and extortion
I helped get rid of Nixon
before his term expired
Send you back to the Apprentice
like Trump, you’re fired
WALSH:
Trump’s a treasonous coward
Engage in some honesty
Demands from Putin
you put in our democracy
Donny, you’ve been impeached
and indicted for crimes
You were so scared of Biden
Now you’re biding your time
Encouraged interference back in 2016
I’m starting to think
you’re playing for the other team
We need a referee
before we stoop any lower
And Joe Walsh is your guy
I’m the whistleblower
THE ROCK:
Hey!
No one touches the whistle
Do it again, I crush you
And he’s back
Taking a Twitter break
to share a few words
Mr. Walsh
suddenly you think that you’re better?
Come on
We used to be racist
on Twitter together
This Ukraine stuff’s fake news
I can’t even believe
You turned your back on your party
That’s treason to me
Mr. Weld, you’re a bore
Why do I have to do this?
You’re a governor from where?
Well, I don’t give a mass of two sh**s
Gay rights and abortion?
Your words are backwards
In the right lighting
I thought you were Bernie Sanders
THE ROCK:
Donald, that…
that is Bernie Sanders
Okay
If our voters had to take away
one thing from your campaigns
what would it be?
WELD:
Trump trashes everything around him
Trillion dollar debt
Every single year, y’all
Cash rules everything around me
C.R.E.A.M. get the money
You gotta vote for bill, y’all
TRUMP:
I brought jobs back
Prepared the deals
The news is fake
My hair is real
The haters talk
I drained the swamp
America’s great again
Say it’s not
WALSH:
Walsh 2020
Do not get Trumped
He’s a treasonous traitor
who’s gone corrupt
We can’t take four more years
The party’s stuck
He’s had us grid-locked
It’s time lock him up
cont'd....
CREDITS
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Created by Rhyme Combinator & 6 Point Harness
Executive Producer: Reid Hoffman
Producers: Beau Lewis, Ian Alas
Director: Beau Lewis
Vocal Directors: Illmac, Frak
Writers: Illmac, Frak, Beau Lewis, Ben Parker, Brett Erlich, Random, Jordan Ranff, Seth Brown
Music: Chase Moore, Will “V” Randolph, Causmic
Mix/master: Fai, Deep H20z
Animation: 6 Point Harness
CAST
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Donald Trump: Jonathan Kite
The Rock: Arthur Romeo
Bill Weld: Michael Nathanson
Joe Walsh: Mark Harley
Jenny: Patty Mattson
Beth: Patty Mattson
Special Thanks:
The Lincoln Project, Sarah Longwell, Dmitri Mehlhorn, Maya Bourdeaux, David Sanford, Saida Sapieva, Greg Beato
Category :
Kids Channel
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